If you are familiar with what we do at Cuddle Sanctuary then you know that we help people connect with each other. And yet at the beginning of our workshops we often say that you are your first and most important cuddle buddy. What do we mean by that?
One day, I was visiting with my friend Karen at her apartment. We were getting ready to go out. She was sitting on the floor putting on her socks and shoes. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something that surprised me. She put a white sock on her left foot, kissed that foot affectionately and continued with the business of getting her shoes on. Karen wasn’t putting on a show for me – she was clearly in the zone of her routine. I thought to myself, “Karen really loves herself!” and felt a little jealous. I wondered, “How could I cultivate that kind of love for myself?”
Be Your Own Best Friend
In the span of my life, I am the one who will be with myself the most often. People come and go, situations change, but I am always there with me – minute after minute, hour after hour. Being my own cuddle buddy is an invitation to be a best friend to myself. A best friend listens. A best friend cares. A best friend is there.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could all count on ourselves to be there, to listen and to care – for ourselves? For me, this would mean that my habitual thoughts about myself as I go about my day would be more compassionate. I would often ask myself, “What do I need right now? How can I help myself?” I would also be on the look out for pleasure.
Learn What You Enjoy
After a shower, I use a towel to dry my hair and give myself a scalp massage. It feels exquisite. Kudos to me for giving myself that! I bet it’s something that Karen might do. It’s an example of my being a good cuddle buddy for myself.
How can you be a great cuddle buddy to yourself? One way is to learn what you enjoy and give yourself those things. In this video, I demonstrate a technique that involves tapping on your own body.
I invite you to try it out for one minute. The result is that you will have more information about your preferences and more skillz in being a good cuddle buddy for yourself.