Last week I cut my hair. Really short. I was tired of having to dye it each month to cover my grey. By cutting my locks, I would be trimming away all of the fake – the dark brown tresses created by chemicals and processing. I wasn’t sure what color hair I would be left with – it had been so many years since I’d seen what I look like naturally.

Cutting my hair short – I mean short like a buzz cut – was something I’ve wanted to try for years. But I was afraid. I made a list of pro’s and cons.

On the list of cons was my fear that I would be less desirable to many people if I had shorter hair. I wondered if certain cuddle clients would stop coming to me because I didn’t look feminine enough. I worried that my lover would be repelled by my new look and not want me anymore. I had a concern that members of my community at Cuddle Sanctuary would gasp in shock and worry that I had cancer.

I guess on some level, I believed that the haircut I really wanted would make me ugly. And I feared I would lose opportunities and love if I was ugly.

I sometimes receive questions from people who want to come to Cuddle Sanctuary. “Would it be okay for me to come even though I’m fat?” Or “I’m in my 70’s, should I just not come?” They seem to be asking, “I’m pretty sure that I’ll be shunned for being imperfect but just wanted to double check. Can I come anyway?”

What does this say about the culture we live in? That only the thin, attractive, white, able-bodied, educated and young deserve comfort and love?

The answer I tell people who contact me with their worries is Yes. Yes, we want you. Yes, you can join us. Yes, you deserve to be cuddled. Yes, please come. Of course, yes!

Last week I cut my hair. Really short. I made a list of pro’s and cons before I did it. Here are the pros:

I’m glad I took that small risk. It’s a reminder that I deserve cuddling and love whether I’m pretty or not pretty. And that at Cuddle Sanctuary, you are welcome no matter your size, gender, ability, religion, ethnicity, political party, nationality, and yes – haircut.


Get my 7-email tutorial to learn
how you can make cuddling
an integral part of your life.


Your Name*:

Your Email*: