At Cuddle Sanctuary, we believe that cuddling can include significantly more than just spooning. It can involve a myriad of ways to connect with a cuddle buddy.

In this video, I explore four different ways to caress your cuddle buddy. In the text below, I provide a fifth caress for you to consider.

I recommend that you try these caresses first on yourself. (I find that the best “real estate” on the body to try most of them is the arms.)

Hair and Air

This caress is so gentle, you will barely graze the hair on your cuddle buddy’s skin as your hand moves over the arm. Some people are so sensitive they can feel this caress acutely and it’s really enjoyable. There are also those who can feel it, but it makes them squeamish. Ask your cuddle buddy what they think about this option.

Soft Caress

This is a light caress that touches the skin gently. Like the Hair and Air Caress, some might find it too ticklish. For me, a soft caress up and down my arms is a pathway to heaven.

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Firm Caress

This touch has more downward pressure. It provides a more meaty or grounded feeling for your cuddle buddy. Your might wonder how much downward pressure is the right amount. Think Friction rather than Muscles. This stroke creates friction between your hand and the skin on your cuddle buddy’s arm, but it doesn’t include the muscles below the skin.


This caress goes deeper than the skin to include the muscles. Once you get the muscles involved, the prime real estate moves from the arms to the shoulders. Ask your cuddle buddy what they prefer. Start off gently and ask your cuddle buddy if they would like for you to try a deeper massage.

If you feel clueless about how to give a massage, you’re not alone. There are tons of books and classes out there for you to check out.

cuddle buddy

This book has great reviews on Amazon

My favorite way to learn is to get a professional massage and then pay attention to the strokes that I like. Those are the strokes I might try later with a cuddle buddy and then add to my repertoire.


Some people like to be held and squeezed. It helps them feel grounded. I have professional cuddling clients who specifically will request to be squeezed. Check in with your cuddle buddy so can find the perfect level of tightness that’s enjoyable but not too intense. Talk to each other and give each other feedback.

cuddle buddy

* A shout out to my friend, Cassie Brighter, who spent part of a Sunday afternoon recording video with me!



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