These five relaxing activities are terrific starters for a cuddle session or are fun on their own. Some will be quite familiar to you and some may be a surprise.
Holding Hands
Holding hands is sweet and simple. For some, it’s their favorite way to cuddle. What’s especially good about holding hands is that everyone knows what it is. We see it in public, in photos and in the movies. Its familiarity is soothing. You can hold hands while sitting side-by-side or you can hold hands and take a walk. Holding hands is a very versatile cuddle activity. If you and your cuddle buddy enjoy holding hands, you can choose to do so for the entire cuddle session.
Thumb Wrestling
Have you ever heard of a thumb fight, thumb war or thumb wrestling? It’s a childhood game that many of us haven’t played for a long time. The beauty of choosing thumb wrestling with your cuddle buddy is that it’s playful and unexpected. It also helps set the tone that this cuddle is a Rated G thing.
The battle begins by linking fingers with your “opponent” leaving your thumbs free and pointing up. Next you “bow” your thumbs. From there, you try to conquer the other person’s thumb with your own.
Wikihow provides a good webpage with instructions and photos.
If you enjoy the experience, see if your cuddle buddy wants to a play a few more rounds. You may notice that your mood is lighter and that you feel comfortable to try other cuddle positions.
Sitting Back-to-Back
Many people in my Cuddle Sanctuary Socials choose to sit back-to-back. It’s a terrific starter position. It’s especially great for people cuddling with those of a different gender than they are used to. For instance, a man who identifies as straight, may choose to sit back-to-back when paired with another guy. The position feels especially platonic.
For me, I consider my belly to be a vulnerable part of my body. Sitting back-to-back allows me to get to know my cuddle buddy – but with my belly facing away from them. It feels safer to me. Consider adding the back-to-back position to your relaxing repertoire.
Offering a Foot Rub
There are so many people who love receiving foot rubs. I’m definitely one of them. Consider asking your cuddle buddy to give you a foot rub or offer one to them.
Giving or receiving a foot rub will provide you both practice in communicating with each other. Some people like a very soft foot rub. Others of us (me!) like a firm touch. Give each other feedback so that the one receiving the foot rub has the best foot rub possible and the one giving the foot rub has all the feedback they need for success.
You can decide together if you want to leave your socks on or if bare feet is okay with you both. And yes, clean feet are one of the basics for enjoying this activity. : – )
Stargazing
Stargazing is a favorite activity at Cuddle Socials. It’s very simple to do. Both people lie on their backs side by side and look upwards. You can choose whether your bodies will touch when you’re side by side. You can also decide to hold hands while you stargaze.
Stargazing is a great relaxing position for chatting. At the workshop I often give a suggestion to cuddlers for a topic of conversation while stargazing. The topic is gratitude – take turns sharing what you’re grateful for.
Sometimes I stargaze with a pillow under my head for comfort. If I really want to give myself the “star” treatment, I’ll place another pillow under my knees. (That feels great for my lower back!) The position feels like being at summer camp or of times as a kid when I might lay on the grass and watch the clouds. I love it, and I hope you do, too.
There you go! You now have five solid ideas of what to do when cuddling someone new. Let me hear from you in the comments below – which is your favorite?
Spooning is my favorite, but I am also good with any of the five you mentioned above.
I think spooning is what people think when they think of the word “cuddle.” We like to expand the definition to include lots of ways to connect. But, yes, spooning is a favorite of many attendees!
I never would have thought of thumb wrestling.
Of these my favorite is back to back.
What great suggestions! I’m imagining a cuddle party opener game where everyone is back-to-back yet playing thumb war with someone from a different back-to-back pair 🙂
That is a fun idea.
I am learning so much from these readings and I really am enjoying what I get out of them. Thus far, Spooning is my favorite. I look forward to learning more. Thanks! 🙂
Thank you for sharing this, I never thought of thumb wrestling as sense of cuddling. As a massage therapist I love massage feet, and the head.
Foot massage + head massage = delight!
All five activities are amazing but my favourite is Stargazing.
What I like best about stargazing is that I feel pretty comfortable trying it with most anyone. It’s easy!
I would love the foot massage and playing with my hair . I would want gentle so the thumb thingy would not be for me. Sometimes I will rub one of my arms gently with the tip of my nails to help me go to sleep. Or I will use the tips of my fingers and gently tap back and forth on my forehead, it gives me a calming effect. As having four sisters we use to rub each other’s arms and back while we count to 25. And take turns till we dosed sound asleep. , you mention as a child alot on your utube and you are spot on. Thank you ,,,,,,kindest
Thanks for sharing all of this, Carolyn! Kindest!
The 25 count back rub sounds super!
Very nice! I especially like that these are easy and approachable for the new client or starting a session gently.
Yes, they aren’t too “weird” for folks new to it. : – )