Capitalistic Cuddling

A potential client sent me a well articulated rant about the cost of professional cuddling. For him, the fee for a professional cuddling session was way out of his budget. He felt hopeless, and by the end of of email he wrote:

“Oh Jean, it’s highly capitalistic cuddling 😢”

I feel him. I feel you.

Yes, professional cuddling occurs in the context of our capitalistic culture. My colleague Sam explains it well that it’s not her love that clients pay for, it’s her time. She just wouldn’t be able to feed, clothe and shelter herself without charging for services. 

Distasteful, even repulsive

I think that may be a reason why professional cuddling has had a hard time catching on. The idea of commodifying tenderness upsets many people. Of course what’s really upsetting is what’s underneath that. As a society, we’ve become so disconnected from each other. Many people don’t have access to simple human contact and need professional support.

What about websites to help cuddlers meet each other?

Non-professional cuddle sites are a Wild West, hit or miss, mostly miss environment. One of my colleagues suggested that it can be a dangerous place – particularly for women. In that discussion it was suggested that well intentioned cis-men may have a smidge better luck. 

Tapping deeply into one’s instincts, street smarts and good judgement, it might be worth kissing a bunch of frogs if the result is a kind cuddle buddy. For people who want to get into cuddling and don’t have the resources or interest in hiring a professional, those sites are definitely not my strongest recommendation.

Facilitated Cuddle Events

Gatherings of cuddle-loving, like minded people is a joyful and structured way to enter into the world of cuddling. I wholeheartedly suggest them. Cuddle Sanctuary trains cuddle event leaders as does Cuddle Party.

But with Covid these events aren’t being offered hardly ever!

Yes, my client was really on a rant, and he was right – it’s frustrating! Though I wish I could wave a wand and banish this virus, I at least have some resources to suggest in the meanwhile:

Study the Cuddle Party Rules to get ready for your future attendance at group events.

Review these amazing videos about consent from Betty Martin that can help a person be a good cuddle buddy.

Check out my blogs about finding your own cuddle buddy.

Yes rant!

It really is healthy to rant. To acknowledge overwhelming and unfair odds. To shake a fist at the sky.

And it also takes courage and resilience to then ask the question: Given the situation, what’s my next move?

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