Dear Straight Man,

Welcome to Cuddle Sanctuary!

I’m honored you’re considering these workshops as a place to find more connection and affection.

I often get private notes from you asking me about “gender balancing.” Gender balancing is the act of assuring that there are an equal amount of men and women at our events. Underneath that request are typically two worries. I’d like to discuss each of those worries with you and then I’ll answer the question about gender balancing.

Worry #1

There will be too many men at the event and I’ll be asked to cuddle with another man.

Stress Relieving Truth: There’s no touch required at our workshops. If you’re ever paired with someone you don’t particularly want to cuddle (regardless of gender) there are talk options and other non-touch options. That way you can respect your own comfort zone at all times. Also, any paired exercise lasts for just a few minutes anyway.

Worry #2

Everyone will be paired up and I’ll be left alone.

Stress Relieving Truth

Sometimes people in the workshop choose to hang out by themselves and get great value from being in the calming and sweet environment that we create together. So if you find yourself alone, you may be in good company. Sometimes people cuddle in groups of two and sometimes people cuddle in groups of three or more. During the workshop, we’ll teach you how to ask someone to cuddle with you and how to ask to join in with a group. If you’re not feeling ready for that or just want to try something new, you can go to the “buddy bench.” The buddy bench is a place your facilitator will designate. Sitting at the buddy bench is a way to nonverbally communicate to others at the workshop that you’d like to connect and aren’t sure how to get started. There’s no touch required ever for anyone.

I hope I’ve addressed some of your worries. Now let’s talk about gender balancing. I do not make a commitment to gender balance at our workshops for two reasons. First, gender balancing would limit the incredible combinations of human beings that assemble at each event. After giving over a hundred workshops, I’ve learned that I can count on the fact that whatever group assembles is the right group at the right time. I’m not going to mess with the perfection of that. It would be a disservice to you. Second, gender balancing also assumes that all people identify as either male or female. As so many of us have learned about transgender, nonbinary, gender fluid, and gender nonconforming people in the past few years, gender is much more complicated than that.

It’s happened several times that there were more feminine than masculine people. It has always worked out. It has also happened that there have been more masculine than feminine people at a workshop. That works out really well, too.

So where, Straight Man, does that leave you? Well, I realize that with the worries that you’re dealing with, attending a workshop may feel like a risk. I invite you to take that risk – if only to feel good about yourself for being the kind of man who faces risk head on.

If you’re still feeling unsure, I have three ideas for you:

1. Keep in mind that you can leave at any time. If the workshop isn’t what you expected or hoped, you can just wave good-bye and head out. We will never shame you for taking care of yourself.
2. We have a money back guarantee. If you’re not happy with your experience, you can simply email us and ask for a refund at Support@CuddleSanctuary.com.
3. Try a Private Cuddle Session instead. Our private sessions provide you with the comfort and ease of being able to choose who you cuddle with. Some Cuddle Sanctuary clients only come to us for private sessions. Some only come to us for workshops. And some love both.

So welcome again, Straight Man. And cuddle on!

Jean