I met Trevor James when he applied to Cuddle Sanctuary’s Certification Program for Professional Cuddlers in early 2021. As you’ll see, he is a fascinating person.
JEAN: Hi Trevor James! Would you introduce yourself to us?
TREVOR: Yes! I’m Certified Touch and Cuddle Therapist, and a Tantra, Touch & Intimacy Coach. I’m originally from the West African country of Ghana, and I grew up in Switzerland and the UK, and have called six countries home. I have traveled to many more, and speak multiple languages – I consider myself a citizen of the world.
JEAN: Didn’t you also do some writing?
TREVOR: Yes, I’m also the author of the book I Know Why The Cheshire Cat Grins – When Shift Happens. It’s a collection of my essays on life, love, and overcoming fear.
JEAN: One of your book’s reviewers said that it serves as a voice for those who have hesitated to find themselves. What inspired you to write it?
TREVOR: When I was about to turn 40, I decided to write about the lessons I’d learned in life until that point, so I wrote 40 of them, writing one almost every day. 30 of them made it into the book. I didn’t set out to write a book — I was just posting my essays on my blog when friends pushed me into reworking the essays to fit a book format. It eventually evolved from “40 Things I’ve Learned in 40 Years” to “I Know Why The Cheshire Cat Grins – When Shift Happens”.
JEAN: Why do you use the name “Trevor James”?
TREVOR: Well, I totally reinvented my career self. A complete 180 degree turn. Also , seeing as this line of work is pretty personal, (and the professional lines can be blurry at times), it is my way of separating my professional life from my private life.
JEAN: You have a fascinating career story. Would you share?
TREVOR: The trajectory of my career has been a rather unique one. I’ve been an advertising copywriter; a broadcast journalist and radio show producer; TV show host; an event producer and director; a national pageant director for Miss Universe®; a nonprofit consultant; a lifestyle blogger — The Lifestyle Maven™, and a festival director, among others.
JEAN: You are a true Renaissance Man! Do you think you will always keep reinventing yourself? Is that even the right phrase for it?
TREVOR: One of the chapters in my book talks about reinventing oneself. Three things that are certain in life are death, taxes, and change. I believe reinventing myself is a survival mechanism. As circumstances change, I change with them, and I think I’m not done reinventing myself yet.
JEAN: Who are your cuddling services focused towards?
TREVOR: I center on men in my practice, and offer cuddle services to men regardless of sexual orientation.
JEAN: Why did you decide to center men in your practice?
TREVOR: When I was researching becoming a cuddle therapist, one of the things that struck me was just how touch deprived men — especially men in the US — can be. Women touch each other multiple times in one interaction, whereas men refrain from touching each other or other people. The only touch most men get is during sex, if they’re partnered. If they’re not, they’re very likely to be touch deprived. So I decided to focus my attention on men, whatever their sexual orientation. Besides, there are very few male cuddle therapists to begin with, much less men catering to a male clientele. My mission is “to ensure men’s wellness through touch, connection, companionship and community”.
JEAN: Lovely! How do you describe the benefits of cuddling to your clients?
TREVOR: Cuddling — and by extension, touch — is a natural antidepressant, relieves anxiety, and strengthens our immune system. And yet touch and cuddling have been sexualized, and homophobia makes the notion of same-sex touch taboo. With that fear of the sexual at the forefront of all our human interactions, we tend to avoid all contact rather than risk even the hint of unwanted perceived sexual touch. This makes it almost a requirement to be in a relationship first to have the opportunity to cuddle. I’m committed to changing that.
JEAN: What makes you especially suited to your work?
TREVOR: I’m a cuddle monster! I love touch and the language of touch. I also love people and finding out what makes them tick. I like to peel the layers of my clients’ complexities – discovering the parts that most people never get to see.
JEAN: What else do you like to do besides cuddling?
TREVOR: Cooking is another of my passions, and I love trying out and modifying new recipes.
JEAN: Ooh, what’s an example of a dish you like to make?
TREVOR: One of my favorite dishes to make for people is my Mediterranean Baked Tilapia. It’s a fish dish baked on a bed of tomatoes and infused with the complex flavors of olives, lemon zest, and parmesan cheese. You’ll find the recipe on my lifestyle blog.
JEAN: It was so nice to spend this time with you. How can an interested client learn more about you or request a session?
TREVOR: This was fun! Folks can watch me in action in my appearance on 60 Second Docs, check out my website Dr.CuddlesLA.com, or request a session with me in Los Angeles or Palm Springs, California here.