I was having fun

It was Friday afternoon, and I was feeling mighty proud of myself. A week before I’d invested in shared office space at a place called Cross Campus. I no longer spent the day working at my home office feeling isolated. Now I was happily working among scores of other leaders and entrepreneurs all working on their own projects. The vibe at Cross Campus is always lively and upbeat. 

I was on fire.

Typically by 3:00pm, I begin feeling a lag in my focus. Not today. I was amazed at my willingness to tackle my to-do list. My phone caught my attention. A call was coming in from one of my clients. “I wonder why she’s calling me?” I thought, “Usually we text.” When I picked up, she said, “…Uhm, I’m here.” Oh no. It’s 6 minutes past 4:00pm and I’m remembering now I have a session scheduled with her. It’s now! It was supposed to start at 4:00pm! 

Oh dear.

Folks, I do not like making mistakes. I take deep pride in my customer service skills and I take the vulnerable service I offer with utmost gravity. If I were treating myself to a cuddle session, I definitely, definitely wouldn’t want to hear that my practitioner forgot about my session! 

Devastation

In the past, this occurrence would feel like nothing less than a calamity. Guilt. Shame. Embarrassment. I knew this trifecta so well. These were the emotions that would win out among the many I might feel as a result of making a mistake. Something felt different this time. The familiar (crappy) feelings were there but they were much milder than usual. The stronger response was that of a professional with high self esteem. 

Cool, calm, collected

Because we have a trusting relationship, I gave my client instructions how on she could let herself in to my Cuddle Cottage and make herself comfortable. I told her that I would be there in twenty minutes. During my walk from point A to point B, I didn’t berate myself. Instead I thought of a lovely way to apologize to her. I decided that I would offer her the gift of 30 free minutes of cuddling that she could tack onto her next session. (When I told her that later, she was psyched.)

Because I wasn’t in a state of guilt and humiliation, I was able to greet her warmly. Of course I apologized, but I was also capable of starting our session without beating my chest with a demonstration of my shame. Do you get what I mean by “beating my chest”? In the past, I might dramatically make a big deal about my mistake thereby making it a little too much about me.

A surprise

Guess what happened next? Typically this client requests lots of back scratches. Her favorite cuddle positions are spooning and baby bear. I was completely surprised when – halfway through the session – she asked me if I would arm wrestle with her.

What the what?!

Okay, it’s not totally an off-the-wall request. At our events, sometimes we invite attendees to thumb wrestle. We also sometimes demonstrate an activity called “baby bear wrestling” which is really fun and something I need to share with you someday. (Note to self.) Having said that, no one in my whole career of professional cuddling has suggested arm wrestling. I was so game!

Let’s do this

My client was adamant that she wanted to have an actual contest. She didn’t want me to let her win or provide any handicap. We set ourselves up and I said “Go!” I gave it all I had and won. Yay for me! We tried the other arm and she won fair and square. We were both pretty delighted by it all and went back to cuddling and talking for the rest of the session.

Themes

I think this story is a good meditation on the wonders of letting go of perfectionism:

• I already know myself to be a conscientious professional – forgetting a session is an incredibly rare error for me. There was just no reason to yell at myself; I’m so glad I understand this now.
• Maybe there’s a connection between my letting go of shame and the fact that the session evolved into such a fun, memorable experience. I dunno. What do you think?
• Perhaps delightful moments have been available to me all along but I was blinded to them because my head was up my ass creating miserable experiences of self-punishment all these years?
• Maybe more fun moments are on the way and they’ll come from a sticky web of human errors, colossal messiness and inspired fuck-ups?