Have you ever been alone without feeling lonely? How about having a social experience where you chose to sit out and observe instead of participating, yet still felt like a part of the group?

I get to experience this consistently at Cuddle Sanctuary, particularly in the designated area lovingly named the “Solo Salon”.

It sounds like quite a contradiction, doesn’t it? Enjoying alone time at a *cuddle* event. Isn’t the whole point of being there to get as much connection and cuddling as possible?

And yet, as I like to remind our attendees, the ultimate purpose of the event is self-care, and self-care can take many forms. Sometimes it’s cuddling and touch, connection and conversation. Other times, it’s solitude and introspection, quiet observation and contemplation.

The Solo Salon might be a bench, sometimes it’s a few chairs, or perhaps a collection of stacked cushions. In every case, we welcome folks to use that space to enjoy alone time for any reason at all. The etiquette is that no one will approach you for cuddling or conversation while you are in that sanctuary. It is also part of our practice that no one will assume anything is wrong.

Breathe that in for a moment: you get permission to be separate from the group. There is a space for you to be exactly as you are. Nobody will assume anything needs fixing, and to the contrary will celebrate you for your choice.

How many places in the world do you know where this is an option?

There’s a lot of stigma out there around choosing to be separate from a group. In social situations, cohesion is such a top priority that any time we opt to take a back seat from participating, it can elicit discomfort and questions like “What’s wrong?” or “Don’t you like us?” or “Why aren’t you having a good time like the rest of us?”.

I visit the Solo Salon frequently during my time at Cuddle Sanctuary. I’ve used it as a break to check in with myself and my needs. On occasion, I’ve sat out to accommodate my need to be sad, or even anti-social, in that moment. Most often, I simply enjoy stepping back to witness the community and connection in the room. It feels like I’m marinating in the goodness and rightness of the world. In every case, I have found safety, peace, acceptance and a deep sense of belonging in my time there.

So when we say “No touch is ever required” at our events, we really mean it. And if you follow your bliss and find yourself in the Solo Salon for whatever length of time, know that your choice will be met with “Rock on!” and “Thank you for taking care of yourself.”