Up until a few years ago, I wasn’t completely aware that I had a body.

Of course, I knew what a body was and that I had one, but my experience of it was more of being a brain with limbs. Almost all of my day-to-day attention was spent “neck up” in my thoughts. I constantly felt annoyed at having to care for the physical needs of my body.  I only engaged my body when it came to specific activities like eating, hygiene, sex, exercise etc. Otherwise, it disappeared into the background.

It’s only been in recent years that I’ve started to integrate my body into my everyday experience of living. It has changed everything.

 

The Effects of Disembodiment

When I’m not in tune with my body, life seems muddier, more distracted, and bleaker somehow. I have less access to inner experience, and it’s easy to miss what is really going on with my emotions.  Because I’m disconnected from present-moment experience, it’s easier for get caught up in stories of the past, or to worry about the future. I am less creative, and my range of feeling, movement and sensation is limited  It’s like trying to touch the world with a pair of oven mitts on.

In my professional cuddling practice, I sometimes see clients who don’t have developed relationships with their bodies. Because they don’t have a strong connection to what’s going on viscerally, what they’re able to let in from a session is limited. There’s a reliance on conversation to feel connected, and an attachment to doing things the correct way (vs. feeling into what feels comfortable and enjoyable in the moment).  They may be able to feel relaxed at the end of a session, but there’s a level of bliss or surrender that they aren’t quite able to access.

There are many reasons why we lack access to our bodies. Our culture emphasizes our cognition, and many of us have been through traumatic experiences that have taught us that being in our body isn’t safe.

It takes conscious practice and awareness to bring our bodies back online and integrated into our day-to-day experience of living.

 

Building a Bridge to the Body

Cuddling is one of my favorite activities for practicing embodiment.

Many of us rely on exercise as the bridge to connection with our body. As important as it is to our wellness, however, it can often be very goal oriented. It also requires skill, or a high level of physical exertion – or both. I appreciate cuddling as an embodiment practice because all we need to do is to be present.

Here are a few exercises you can do to invite your body into your every day life.

 

Belly Breaths

Take a moment to focus on your breathing. See if you can make your inhales deeper, and allow your breath to expand your belly. When you exhale, let the air out as slow as you can. Notice how that feels. You can even add a sigh to your exhale and see what that does.

Breathing deeply is the quickest way to engage the vagus nerve, which is the literal connection from brain to heart and guts in our nervous system.

 

Waking Up the Hands

Pick an everyday object. Anything lying around will do: a pen, a glass, a rock etc. Handle it in your hands for 3-5 minutes. Make your movements as slow as you can as you “feel up” this object. Go even slower still. Really take in what you notice: texture, temperature, structure, and also different sensations on your skin and through your fingers.

Our hands have more nerve endings than everywhere else in our body (except for our mouth and lips). Starting with your hands allows you to engage your sense of touch in a way that awakens your whole body to sensation.

 

Felt-Sense Tracking

After taking a few long breaths, slowly scan your body from head to toe. What sensations do you notice? You may make note of tension, temperature, pressure, tingling, blankness etc. Just name whatever it is that part of your body is experiencing. No sensation or emotion is good or bad. Slowly move to the next part, and then the next, until you’ve checked in with your entire body.

This exercise is great to do at the start and end of everyday as a way to invite your body into your awareness. I also enjoy doing periodic check-ins with specific body parts during the day. I ask myself “Tummy, what’s going on for you right now?” or “How are my shoulders doing?”. It often sheds light on tension I’m carrying that I might not even notice.

 

A Mindful You

Tuning into our physical sensations is one easy hack to being mindful. Mindfulness is the practice of bringing our awareness to the present, and being with what is without judgement. It’s one of the most useful tools in living a life of wellness. It has been scientifically proven to help relieve stress, treat anxiety, improve cognition, lower blood pressure, reduce chronic pain, improve sleep, and alleviate gastrointestinal difficulties.

This seems like a huge benefit from simply giving our bodies a little bit of attention. AND it can be done while cuddling! Count me in!