We’re all about platonic touch here at Cuddle Sanctuary, and take great care in keeping our events and services G-rated.
Our attendees are reminded of the guidelines at the start of every workshop. We have frank conversations with each new client before an Affection Spa session so there’s no misunderstanding about what we do. To us, G-rated doesn’t simply mean that nothing overtly sexual occurs, but that even the intention, and energy of the space does not have a hidden or underlying erotic tone. We want to make sure that if a pre-schooler were to walk in, no changes would need to be made. Everyone would feel comfortable.
Think kids in a playground, or hanging out with your siblings.
Our marketing seeks to be exceedingly clear about the platonic nature of our work. We use terms like “affectionate”, “warm”, “nurturing”, “soothing”, “relaxing”, instead of “desire”, “exciting”, “sexy”, “attractive” or “romantic” — see the difference? All this to make sure that we are on the same page regarding what our service entails. It’s that important to us.
Why Keep it Platonic?
Why so much focus on this non-sexual bit? It’s certainly not because we think sexuality is bad and therefore unwelcome. On the contrary, Cuddle Sanctuary is a very sex-positive organization. This means that we have a very open, progressive, and positive attitude toward sex and sexuality. We’re very careful to communicate that no one will be shamed for experiencing arousal at our events or in our sessions. To us, it’s simply a natural reaction to stimulus, and all that’s needed is a small shift to bring things back into the platonic realm. We think sex is great and important. “Just not at this event,” we say.
It’s downright essential to us, that the spaces we create separate touch from sexuality. Experiencing this distinction is such a powerful piece for the folks who find us.
In a culture where touch tends to be enmeshed with romance and sex, intimacy and connection can become so scarce. How many of us have found ourselves seeking out sexual encounters when the true underlying need is simply to be held? Sex is beautiful, cuddling is amazing; they go really well together, but they are two separate needs. Getting to take a pause and just focus on one of them – the touch aspect – without the expectation of anything erotic can be like a breath of fresh air.
What’s it got to do with Plato?
As you can see, we tote around the word “platonic” a lot around here, and it can start to sound like a piece of jargon. In our day, the word has been stripped from its origin to simply mean anything “non-sexual”. But if you look into the philosophical roots, there’s a lot more to it than just the absence of sex.
Plato, an ancient Greek philosopher, introduced this concept in his work “Symposium” where he explored many different forms of love. His writing examined this idea of love being a ladder, beginning with the love for a beautiful person at the bottom, and love of Beauty itself at the top. His ideas never precluded sex in the first place. It wasn’t till the Renaissance where the use of the word “Platonic” in the English language evolved. What was originally a description of a spiritual connection became to mean “not physical” or “non-sexual”.
As I experience -there’s that word again- platonic connection and cuddling at Cuddle Sanctuary, I feel like I get to tap into a small piece of this magic that Plato originally described. And wow, is it powerful!
More Than Just the Absence of Sexuality
In my work as a professional cuddler and cuddle workshop leader, the platonic realm is my playground. It’s my medium to create opportunities for connection and deep emotional growth.
I’ve come to appreciate this arena as a source of both freedom and safety. In platonic connection, there are no aspirations, no expectations for more. In its ideal state, two (or more) people could connect on equal ground, and share kindness and care, respect and gratitude. It would be complete and whole as it is in the moment. There isn’t a commitment for more in the future. It’s reaching deep into our simplest forms – the children within ourselves. There would be giggling, and hugging, limitless creativity, as well as a deep contentment. In this, there is stability and abundance, and permission to just be.
Because our work is so unequivocally platonic, I get to tell my clients “I love you” freely and frequently. In this clearly delineated space, it is plain that this statement has no romantic or sexual intent. This love comes unconditionally. It is not an ask, nor is it a promise. It is simply a gift.
Ultimately, my experience of the term “platonic” is not about the absence of something (in this case, sex), but the presence of something much more potent.