At My Father’s Deathbed
I’m in Florida right now because my dad is dying. I’m sitting in the bedroom across from his. A loud oxygen machine whirs incessantly to confirm that my father - for now - is still here. My brother is in there sharing (loud) stories and memories of my dad. I’ve taken...
Maslow Left Out Cuddling
A few weeks ago I had the chance to speak to a student named Joe from a community college in Kansas. Joe was doing some research for a class and wanted to learn about the world of professional cuddling from a cultural and business perspective. We had a great talk! Joe...
Why We Don’t Ask for What We Want (and What We Do Instead)
Confession: I hate having to ask for what I want. Ugh. It’s so much work! In my ideal world, there would be an all-knowing caretaker who is paying such close attention to me, they would anticipate my every need. They would know me more than I even know myself. In this...
Do I Talk Too Much? Do You?
Last month I attended a cuddle event as a guest. The facilitator - Gabriella - created a deeply meditative vibe with quiet music and this guideline: “You’re welcome to make yummy sounds of enjoyment.” [We laughed.] “You can talk to make physical adjustments and set...
Please Say No to Me
I must admit, I like getting what I want, when I want it. Like, a lot. I would go as far to say that the disappointment of not getting something I deeply desire can be one of the most gut wrenchingly painful experiences for me. That feeling of lack can get so...
Is My “Touch Style” the Wrong One?
One time at Cuddle Sanctuary, I fell into conversation with a newcomer - we’ll call him Bobby. Bobby noticed that though he was comfortable hugging family members and romantic partners, he was totally uncomfortable touching people at our event - people he didn’t know...
Somebody Hold Me
She did it. My colleague Epiphany Jordan cracked the code with her new book, Somebody Hold Me. As the Founder of Cuddle Sanctuary I have grand hopes for change. I envision cuddle shops in every city that are just as prevalent as massage studios. Maybe that dream is in...
Risky Cuddling: Choosing Discomfort at a Cuddle
The very first cuddle I attended, I played it safe. I defaulted to my go-to strategy for connection: be friendly, and stay helpful! Instead of making requests for what I wanted, I deferred to others and let them choose. “What would you like to do?” I asked everyone...
Is This Man Cheating?
Last week I received an email that challenged me. The author generously invited me to share our correspondence. I’ve changed his name to Shane: Hi Jean, I have a difficult situation, and that is I have been in a relationship for many years, but my partner has never...
When My “No” Hurts Feelings
I really like people around me to be happy. Actually, it’s more than that. I really want people to be happy about me. That can make saying “No” to be a real challenge. But good relationships require boundaries Almost always, when I’m not feeling good about an...