My name is Jean, and I’m a mammal. The species I belong to is homo sapiens. A member of my species, Matthew Lieberman wrote a book for homo sapiens called Social that describes why I have a need to be around other humans. It’s built into my biology! One reason for my species’ success has to do with cooperation. Over thousands of years, my fellow homo sapiens gathered in groups, hunted together and survived. 

Another human, Gareth Cook wrote an article for a human-made magazine called Scientific American called “Why We are Wired to Connect.” He said, “we suffer greatly when our social bonds are threatened or severed.” I have felt this personally. 

Modern hunting

It’s 2019, and my hunting is now done with my laptop computer. I no longer have to be in physical proximity to my species in order to get food, water or shelter. This causes a problem for me because my biology hasn’t changed.

Ryan Hooper – a human mammal who helps other human mammals cope with their emotional problems – says that  “For some people, working from home can put their mental health at risk, causing feelings of isolation and disconnection.” I have also felt this personally.

Big brains sometimes come up with bad ideas

Homo sapiens have huge brains in proportion to our body size. Our brains have created amazing innovations such as seesaws, cupcakes, summer reading and mariachi bands. But these same brains also created the social and cultural systems that make loneliness the norm for so many of my mammalian brothers and sisters.

Luckily our brains have memories.

I offer human gatherings each week. We do human things like talk, laugh, cry and play with each other’s hair. At the end, some of the humans say that though they worried that the gathering would be socially uncomfortable, what they actually experience is a feeling of familiarity. Like they’ve done this before in an ancestral-memory-kind-of-way.

I also offer 60-minute sessions where I embrace others of my species. My clients speak of that same sense of comfort, naturalness and knowing. I think we are all remembering together.

My name is Jean, and I’m a mammal. In order to feel okay, I need to be around others of my species. If you’re a mammal, you probably do, too.