A Friendly Reminder

A few weeks ago I had a Zoom call at 5:00pm with my friends, Carmen and Stella. We began with a quick check in. 

“How are you?” 

I went first. I told them that I was having the typical feelings that occur at sundown. “You know, despair and a sense of oppressive bleakness.”

They looked at me blankly. “I don’t feel that,” said Stella. “Neither do I,” agreed Carmen. I felt taken aback. When I’m in the gray, emotional environment of overwhelming sadness, I assume we all feel it.

Oh, I’m SAD!

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, Seasonal Affective Disorder (or SAD) is a type of depression that is triggered by the change of seasons. It’s often referred to as the winter blues and is very common. I’ve never been officially diagnosed but I can tell you that as long as I can remember, I’ve considered the end of Daylight Savings Time to be a hold-your-breath-dive underwater.

“Okay,” I would coach myself. “Don’t freak out. In a couple months this will be over. You can do it.” What I’m girding myself against is the abrupt loss of light.

Light Therapy

Even though I’ve experienced life (and light) like this for years, I’d never taken much action to help myself. Besides trying to remember to take a walk while the sun was still out, I didn’t consider other interventions. This year, I tried light therapy. 

Light therapy is the practice of sitting in front of a bright light box – typically in the morning – for about twenty minutes. According to this article in Esquire, “the most useful SAD lamps must emit an illuminance intensity of at least 10,000 LUX in order to simulate a sunny day and must be UV-free for the most basic skincare.”

I got myself a HappyLight, and shine it upon my lovely countenance while eating breakfast or working. I enjoy it. 

Thank You, Electricity

Besides my new morning light therapy routine, I also notice that if I turn on every light in my apartment, I also feel better. Like right away. That’s why, if you were to drop by, you’d notice the kitchen and bathroom lights both on and the lampshades removed from the lamps in my main living area – bare lightbulbs blazing. In these moments, it feels like my home is a beacon. I’m grateful for the privilege of a reliable electricity grid and the prosperity to pay my light bill. Because of these resources – luxuries for so many people in the world – I’m able to go about my day without the familiar burden.

Solstice

Today is the Winter Solstice – the longest night of the year. That’s not how I celebrate it though. For me, solstice is a celebration that I’m making it through once again. Starting tomorrow, every single day will have a little more light. 

Hallelujah and Happy Hanukkah!

Besides solstice, there’s more to celebrate. When the sun goes down on this long evening, I’ll honor the fourth night of Hanukkah. Here are my candles ready-to-go.

I’d love to hear what you’re celebrating this holiday season and what rituals give you healing or pleasure. And if you’re holding your breath waiting for it all to be over, I see you. May you be filled with light.