When I first saw this video, it made me smile. I enjoyed the jaunty music, the black dog that ran after the bro huggers, and of course, the costumes.

But beyond the silliness is something special. Guys getting along, cooperating and having fun with physical connection. Though some of the names of the hugs are silly and sexual-sounding. I don’t get an erotic vibe at all from the video. I think what we’re seeing is two performers allowing themselves to be absurd and having an amazing time.

At Cuddle Sanctuary we get a lot of worried emails from straight men who want to attend but fear that they will “forced” to hug or touch another guy. It saddens me to realize how dangerous straight men feel that it is to even “look” gay. That’s yet another reason why we make sure that there’s always non-touch options for every activity and a rule that there’s no touch required ever at our events. We even have a “time out” area for anyone to just take a break from the workshop. These facts help wary men get through the door. From there the magic of the workshop’s design does the heavy lifting. Men, women, people across the gender spectrum have a great time. The relaxed environment allows for special and unexpected moments.

At one event, a group of men had a potent and honest conversation during the workshop’s “free time.” I think they were blown away by how much they had to say about things that mattered to them and how much they had in common. As workshop leaders, we’ve come to call this “verbal cuddling.”

So thank you man-in-the-Spidey costume and man-in-the-Deadpool-costume. You’ve given me a moment to appreciate athleticism, silliness….and masculine bro hugs.