Two months ago, BuzzFeed featured Cuddle Sanctuary for a second time in a video called “A Couple Cuddles with Strangers.” The YouTube comments were incredibly different than our first video – one hundred and eighty degrees different!
Our first video was called “People Spoon with Professional Cuddlers for the First Time.” The music was peaceful and the images were soft and harmonious. The attitude toward what we do was curious, open minded and (of course it’s BuzzFeed) humorous. Here were some typical comments from viewers:
Many people said that it was not only relaxing but that they watched it over and over to soothe themselves. It’s been viewed over 7 million times. And I received over fifty Facebook messages from people all over the world saying that they were moved by what they saw.
Compare that to our most recent video which demonstrates our workshops in full bloom without the context of our lengthy getting-to-know you exercises and boundary setting guidelines. The viewer is startled by the intimacy – the comments show a deep discomfort with it:
“My worst nightmare.”
“The thought of cuddling strangers makes me break into a cold sweat and heart racing.”
“CRRRRIIIIINGGE.”
Who are these scary people called “strangers”? Weren’t we all told as children that we shouldn’t even talk to them? And doesn’t it make sense that we should never let one touch us?
For me, I like to think of the similarities that people have as fellow human beings – the need for food, water, exercise, fresh air, and to feel included, accepted and loved. It helps that I’ve run hundreds of trainings, workshops and events with the amazing people I don’t yet know. These experiences have helped me to re-contextualize the concept of a stranger as simply a friend I haven’t yet met.
What do you think about the concept of strangers versus friends? How does one become the other for you? Can it happen at a workshop?
Today, I take deep pride about my Cuddle Sanctuary workshops because – with the format I use – I can transform a group of “strangers” into a group of friends in just a few hours. I could fool myself into thinking that I’m some sort of social magician. But the real magic is creating a safe context for people that brings out their best selves – their humanity. (If by any chance, you’re curious to learn how to do it yourself, please join my 4-day training program in October!)
That’s it for now my friends – especially those I haven’t yet met.