As the Founder of Cuddle Sanctuary, I wanted to share with you my position on racial equality:
I’m for it.
As a white woman in the business of kindness, it pains me to acknowledge that I’ve turned away from this issue again and again. Not because I don’t care, but because it’s sad, difficult, inconvenient and “too big to contemplate.” And I can get away with looking away because no one’s been shooting at my loved ones.
As a person prone to shame, I’ve spent two sleepless nights of self hatred as I sat with the fact of my inaction. In the past, I’ve watched civil rights movies and thought to myself, “How would I have handled myself back then? I bet I would have been a brave white person and stuck up for my black brothers and sisters.” Because that’s how I wanted to see myself. It’s taken me a long time to realize that I don’t have to wonder how I would handle myself. I’ve observed how I handle myself. The issue is now. The racism is here. It’s always been here. And I have looked away and away and away.
Two sleepless nights. A black person reading this would shake their head at this tiny inconvenience compared to the magnitude of their life experience.
This is America. The ongoing tragedy continues and for a few days, I find myself awake to it. And shame? I have to be careful of it. Because I can tell myself that I’ve paid a price. I’ve had emotional pain about it so that counts as “doing something.” Feeling shame is an okay starting point, but dwelling there is an impotent and childish choice.
Writing this counts as something. Making ongoing donations to organizations that support racial equality counts as something. Taking actions on this list counts. And sharing these videos also counts.
About these videos. They’re for white people. Each video is about a minute. And a cheerful man explains what’s up. Join me in learning about this thing called “systemic racism.”
Click this link or the photo below to check it out.
Hello Jean,
Thank you for standing in your truth and owning that you struggle with how to deal with racism. It truly is deeper than the isolated incidents that Mr. Floyd, I myself as a black man and many man black men experience day in and day out from either police, employment, housing and Healthcare. That being said, you are also in the most prime position for change. What you give provides UNITY to everyone when their hearts are open for it. I know because as a black man I have attended your cuddle parties and know in that space, division is erased. Unity and the potential for not only love but self awareness, boundaries and self growth can exist and be created. You provide the seeds of healing. It is my hope that whatever fears you hold, you lean into your gift as it will help to heal the very division systemic racism and really our capitalist system endorses.
Jacob – It’s wonderful to hear from you. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective on this as it relates specifically to Cuddle Sanctuary. I’m gratified to hear that in your experience “division is erased” at our events. I am also hearing your suggestion to lean in. Perhaps there is (untapped) opportunity to seed healing on a deeper level. Much to think about. Thank you again.
Jean,
You have earned the gold star of the year. I’ve read the words in your link, but postponed watching the video’s till (hopefully) tonight.
I suspect the videos will tank my brain for a significant time period, so thanks a lot.
Seriously, thank you. Those statistics are quite rightfully demanding of a personal reassessment, from within ALL of us.
Thanks!
You’re welcome, Rick. I appreciate your practice of pacing yourself.