I don’t want to write this blog – because if I do, I’ll have to feel this. No thanks.
The Pandemic March Through Time
In March, nice people sent me emails to ask how I was doing. ‘How is Cuddle Sanctuary?” “How are you?” I was fine. I was busy creating online events to replace our live ones. I was learning new things on Zoom. I had stuff to do. It was a crisis, but I was good.
In April, I received messages on Facebook. “How is Cuddle Sanctuary?” “How are you?” I was still fine. The Covid interruption felt like a welcome break from my schedule. I think I needed that break. It slowed me down in healthy ways.
In June and July, I started getting media requests to talk about social isolation and whether virtual cuddle sessions are effective. I also involved myself in projects and got into the rhythm of the new normal.
Then Came August
In August, Zoe – the landlord of our event rental venue – told me she had to close up shop. That means that if we meet again, it won’t be on Main Street. I went to her house in Venice to pick up our stuff – blankets, pillows, name tags, stickers, breath mints and the giant sign welcoming people to Orientation. Here are the bins and bags that remain in the back of my car:
How do I really feel about this? I’ve noticed a blank spot where my emotions are supposed to be. Don’t I care?
It’s In the Details
As soon as I made that list of items above – the stuff that I picked up from Zoe – the tears began to come. I think what I’m dealing with here is delayed grief. I’m guessing that there’s more. The details seem to help. I hope you’ll indulge me – I’ll keep going:
Fahad sets up the room.
Theresa brings her own registration table.
Mark arrives with a big blanket.
Suz welcomes me with a smile.
Steph dims the lights.
Louis offers treats from Whole Foods.
Fei guides a group hug.
I talk with my happy baby voice.
Our Vocabulary of Fun: Companioning. Koala. Lap of Luxury. Stargazing. Massage Train. Sensation Station. Butterfly Wash. Lightsaber Ballet. Baby Bear Wrestling. More.
It’s Time
It’s time – at least for me – to honor the great moments and feel the big feelings. Got Cuddle Sanctuary memories you’d like to share? Add them in the comments. (The more specific, the better for me!)
Our 5th birthday: December 2019
Wow, tho I was never there, I stayed in touch, because I created a ‘healing touch group’ while living back East, and it met once a week for 10 years! So I found you when I moved to CA, and then I got to zoom with you and others for our self-education about racism, which moved me greatly. Now, I myself am moving back East and find it quite striking to read your blog here, as I’m also going through these similar emotions. Thank you for being your real and resonating self with us your companions, on the journey through life. So poignant right now. All the very best to you!
Barbara – thank you! Safe travels back East and much happiness in this new chapter of your life. (I’m excited for you.) Thanks for sharing your words with me.