I was feeling heavy with sadness on Christmas – even though I had a nice day planned. Two friends and I were going to play games, watch a movie, and share a delicious meal. All activities I typically love.

I was a few minutes late to drive over because I was having a hard time choosing which bag to use to transport the pumpkin pie. The first bag was too small; it ripped. Too sad to conquer this simple problem, I stood holding my bag-full-of-bags with indecision. 

When I arrived, Shiri put out snacks, and Brett sat on the couch with me. I felt a weight in my throat knowing that I needed to have a good cry. I was honest with them about how I was feeling, but the disclosure didn’t improve my mood. (Well, at least I didn’t need to expend any energy pretending to be chipper.)

I drummed up the courage to ask Brett, “Would you give me a shoulder rub?” And that’s how I found myself seated on the carpet receiving the soothing touch that I apparently needed all along. Minutes went by, and when he was through I was amazed. Fifty percent of the sadness evaporated. Gone!

Everything improved from that point, and I was able to enjoy myself. There was laughter, goofiness, nourishment, and connection. The next morning, I felt a spark of creativity and access to my heart. I felt well.

I emerged from the holiday weekend with two gifts: Happy memories and a reminder that sometimes the perfect solution isn’t “talking about it.” 

It’s touch.