I’m seated on the stairs outside of a local apartment building waiting for Susan Lee to let me in. It’s 4:00pm, and I’ve had a lazy, lovely day already. I roller skated on the beach earlier and now I’m showered and fresh. Susan welcomes me with a smile and a hug, then walks me upstairs.

Here’s Susan and I (pre-pandemic) at the launch event for “Professional Cuddler Demos” online course.

Once my Vans are off, she invites me to make myself comfy in her cuddle room. It’s perfect. Twinkle lights, the easy sounds of chimes, pretty colors and shapes of things to look at – an oasis. Already I’m sinking into a pleasant headspace. I love the feeling of being an expected guest, and this is it.

Susan knows that I’ve been going through some life changes and asks me how I’m doing. This isn’t small talk. I look into her eyes and am able to feel the sadness that’s been waiting to release. Susan is a-okay with that and holds my eye contact for as long as I want to.

I ask if it’s okay if I lay down and curl up to her while she’s seated. It’s a position we both know called the Lap of Luxury.

Event Volunteer, Steph, and I demonstrate Lap of Luxury for one of Cuddle Sanctuary’s instructional videos.

Susan has a squishy, plush stuffed strawberry that I adopt as my session mascot. Wherever I go, that strawberry goes. Susan asks if I’d like my hair caressed. I very much do. And then there’s quiet. My mind comes up with item after item of conversation that I could make. I resist and allow myself to disappear into a kaleidoscopic design on a fabric she has on the wall. It’s okay to just disappear for a while. It’s nourishing to not hold up a conversation, but instead to be in the quiet with Susan and receive her tender, loving care.

“This is the modality for me,” I think to myself, grateful that professional cuddling exists. In one hour, I feel refreshed, grounded and yep, a little oxytocin drunk. It’s a pleasant feeling.

I wander home after my session feeling full, well and enriched. I enjoy the idea that a few other people scattered around the world may have received a cuddle session today. I hope that more people who need the experience get to try it. And I’m proud of my part in bringing this work forward. 

Yes indeed, this is the modality for me.

If you’re in Los Angeles, you can request a session from Susan Lee here!